On Toxic People

Overviewing a social issue that's plaguing the world today, hindering our progress for growth, truth, and achieving the universal good.

Toxicity is the new pandemic, and nothing is being done to stop it. Even those who are aware, toxic people continue the spread over such allegations, unaware that they're doing so. Granted, it's easy to harness anger, frustration, and second-hand stress from someone else exuding such behavior(s). Then again, can something be done about it? It's as if being unhappy, manipulating people stooping to their level is the only way things can progress in this world. However, not batting an eye nor an ear to these people means we're the bad ones—because we won't cater to their "wishes," if you will. For me, having grown up with such people at an early age, seeing it spread over society, it's like these last 10-20 years have been nothing but tolerating and reasoning with others' toxicity. Advancements in technology has been fine, but if you think about it, more could still be done for our world—plenty of set-backs, however. Thus, with the exception of therapy and certain medications, there really isn't a cure for toxicity, which is rooted in insecurity and narcissism. Now we ask the question, and that is, "how do you deal with a trait that spreads but has no cure nor a vaccine to protect from catching such sickness(es)?"

What Makes Someone Toxic

A toxic person is someone who grew up being spoiled, or expecting to be, feeding their instinct that they're the more desirable one; such that no matter what, they deserve something, even if it's not a Christmas/birthday gift. Whether it's true or not, these people receive, or have received, too much credit, so much that they barely hear, nor have learned to take, criticism. Because of that, even the slightest critique causes them to go ballistic; not realizing, nor understanding, that because someone proves them wrong, or disagrees, they assume the world is out to get them (all 8 billion people?). What I've learned personally growing up, having pursued the arts and playing team sports, is that not one person can satisfy everyone. Some criticism are justified, while others are rooted in envy/jealousy. Solidifying my skills, while learning from criticism, led to me becoming a harder, more confident worker and creator—to go out, explore, embrace Life, and share the love. Toxic people don't see that, and think that criticism is a threat to their livelihood—or in the words of today's generation, criticism is "hate speech."

Change is necessary in order to grow. Toxic people were led into a false sense of perception that the world continues to thrive and turn because they're here. No matter how gentle a critique you tell them, they get defensive; almost as if being criticized is grounds for starting a fight with them. As they age, toxic people are fixated on such mentality because "it just works." They don't realize, nor care, how much mental damage, and stress, it causes others because they think they're [always] right. Because of this, they're ashamed of polite gestures such as apologizing and admitting fault due to the fact it makes them look weak, and they don't want that. They want to show, and usually know, they're right; when presented with rebuttals or counter-arguments, they answer back, react emotionally, or attack you. Such attitudes work seeing how the people they traumatize feeds into their control; they get away with it without apologizing. Here's an example when talking with someone who's toxic after all that's mentioned so far:

Person: "The Lakers aren't playing well."

Toxic person: "Well, look at you. You're so ugly and rude, and your team sucks more anyway."

In this brief exchange, when the Lakers' records are shown, such that their season proves they're not playing well, the toxic person denies it; even if facts/truth are apparent, this toxic person projects back, not realizing that all those years of winning, losing becomes part of sports, too. Yes, this includes real life too: there are moments where a toxic person won't accept losing, and will find a target to blame their loss(es) on. (Believe me, I know this first-hand.) Not admitting fault and being wrong sounds like grounds for narcisstic personality disorder. According to Mayo Clinic,

"Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism.

...

People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration that they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships troubled and unfulfilling, and other people may not enjoy being around them."^[1]

This couldn't be further from the truth. Once they exploit someone as being "soft," they use them to their advantage to control and manipulate them how ever they choose. Once the one being manipulated stands their ground, stops giving/doing them favors, the toxic person rebels, sees them as a bad person, iterates "how worse they've gotten," all because they can't project their insecurities, fears, and misery onto that individual. No human is a [verbal] punching bag, which by today's standards, sounds like grounds for domestic abuse—a crime in the US and some countries. (If you or someone you know does this, don't be shy about filing a report.) Life continually adds more and more challenges to our everyday lives, and it's worse when a toxic person pushes you down to their level, otherwise, the world shouldn't exist on their behalf. Tch...please...

Being told that "you've gotten worse" from a toxic person is self-contradicting, if you think about it. Growth and maturity is necessary, and because you're done stooping down to their level means you have a better vision/plan for yourself—not for them. Not being aware of it, they've subtly admitted they've been controlling you for their benefit; they're unwilling to change for the better, and seeing that as a form of "getting worse." Toxic people can counter-argue stating they've given you sound advice, like having survival instincts and saving money, but they use such advice in the wrong way. They create fear when sharing such advice, and in their eyes, not taking it means you're bound for failure which is wrong. Yes, it's important to be wary of your surroundings and save money, but toxic people makes it sound like a life or death situation: if you don't listen to them, or take their advice, everything else is your fault. It's like they want to reel you into their fearful mentality, knowing they can't do anything to improve their lives since, again, controlling others has been working in their favor for years.

"It's your fault I'm like this."

Toxic people never prove how human they are. It's their superiority complex, knowing that who they are, what they can do/say, and where they're at in Life, shows they owe nothing to anyone. These are the types who hoard without sharing; ones who make you pay for things as they never spend a penny; and also, ones who never sympathize others' struggles, refusing to understand what people are going through because it's them first over everyone else. If they don't get their ways first, nobody else matters. This is rooted in jealousy/envy, which is as childish as you can get. Toxic people never change for the better, let alone work to prove others wrong. The moment they lose opportunities and attention, they cry victim. Once that's set in place, and no one lends an ear, their world falls apart; depression and loneliness knocks on their door, and because many people know how are they are behind closed doors, their toxicity leaves them in the dust—being neglected and never attended to. They end up dying alone, and even in the face of death, they still refuse responsibility for their actions including how they've treated others their entire lives, from family members to friends.

The fact that toxic people project and blame others that "they're like this" shows no accountability on their part. We can't choose how we're born and raised, but we can change our future, improve ourselves, and, better yet, connect with others who don't trigger negativity around them. Nobody is at fault for anything, unless you create it; therefore, you are directly responsible for any reaction(s) caused by such behavior. In other words, because this toxic person is the perpetrator, chances are good no one will come to their rescue nor defend them. Help is readily available, and if our society ignores these toxic people, how much stress they cause through their words and actions, it will force them to seek help or their toxicity will eat them alive. In other words, they are unknowingly harming themselves...and that's the fault of others?

Never accuse others of the harm you're doing to yourselves.

Toxicity: No Available Cure

One of the more effective ways in getting toxic people distant from you is standing your ground—setting boundaries. You have a life to live, working towards a better tomorrow for yourself, your significant other, your family, and more. You will get an angry, bitter reaction from that toxic person for doing so, but that's telling them that you no longer tolerate their incessant berating. They create hostile environments to everyone around them, and being the narcissists that they are, they won't apologize nor work in being a better person. Fair to say, toxic people are destined to be alone; they can't find satisfaction in any way. It's easy to feel bad for these people until you learn their cruelty. You can spoil them, provide for them, support them, but they still won't be happy. In terms of relationships, these are ones who never reciprocate whatsoever. They want things done for them, not for the both of you. As for family, they want others to provide and pay for all the amenities; but get angry when they have to buy things for themselves, unwilling to. Worse, they get sour when the parent(s) shows them love and attention, but get upset when they stop showing that affection. Okay...so what is it that you want? I'd say to never ever live with these kinds of people—for the good of them, and for yourself. However, salvation is around the corner:

According to The Indie Spiritualist, here are the health risks associated with narcissism—in contrast with toxicity:

• Cardiovascular disease

• Obesity

• Substance abuse^[2]

As the saying goes, "the body keeps the score." No use in reasoning with toxic people, and the best you can do is lay back. The health risks toxic people are unaware of will be their own undoing. Imagine that: there are families below poverty line, children needing food to eat, animals being abandoned and wanting adoption, yet here comes a toxic narcissist pestering everyone, out of malicious intent, just because they're not getting what they want. It may be in our best interest attending to those struggling realistically than reasoning with a toxic person/narcissist, why their beliefs/views are wrong, and finding justice for their "complaints." All in all, if someone is toxic, health-wise, they're basically screwed; no diet and exercise is adequate enough to mitigate their self-abuse (bodies matter, too). It's sad: I'd rather see an innocent child wanting to live, grow, and contribute the good that this world needs, instead of giving breathing space to someone toxic, who does nothing but ruin things for everyone, including themselves. (Man...talk about self-destruction.)

AI, You Are My Hero

Automation eating away jobs forces companies to re-structure, and for workers, it enables them to (re-)think about their life paths. This is something I've iterated time and time again. Due to the childish behaviors apparent among toxic people, Reality, much like their health problems, will strike them...hard. Finding one's purpose in Life is an individualistic goal and cannot be stolen from others. It takes a great deal of self-acceptance and maturity to even think about one's life purpose, but toxic people, especially those in their 30s and 40s, will find it extremely difficult to find their life path. With AI coming in at a rapid pace, stopping its development would be like blocking lava flow from a volcano: you can't. If you ever want a positive outlook on AI, this is it. However, those who know what to do with their lives have nothing to worry about; I've had this very discussion with my girlfriend, as she and I know what we're capable of doing because it makes us happy. Many of you know what your life plans are as well, as this AI "takeover" will be the least of your worries. Toxic people, on the other hand, would sense that this world is ending soon, when in reality, it's theirs, and not this one we're living in. Toxic people can continue their antics, but when they get "dropped like flies," reality will feel like habañero sauce on a bleeding wound. Overall, I don't know about you, but someone who fails to grow and learn their lesson(s) sounds like a death sentence. Abandonment, self-harm, health issues at risk, causing others to stress: they won't have very much left, really.

To CEOs, hiring managers and company owners restructuring as a compliment to AI: take this opportunity to find candidates that best fit your work environment. If that means screening potential workers under some kind of lie detector test, so be it. In other words, companies should not only hire qualified candidates, but those with a good personality, doesn't cause stress to others, and complain less. Once again, this is a great chance to run a toxic-free environment, enabling focus on your company's goals without any holdbacks. Sadly, there isn't a way to detect if someone is toxic or not, but with the (possible) help of AI and wireless technologies, maybe there's a chance? A toxic-free workplace, and society, sounds really good right now, and AI is being the foundation in helping with that.

Lastly, if you're guilty of being toxic, reading this and thinking, "hey, why are you talking about me," proves my point. That hyper-sensitivity wanting to seek control over others, overreacting to criticism with cited facts, even when someone like myself discusses a topic in relation to what you are, the traits you possess, and the reality in harnessing such disgusting personality, secures my message I'm sending through this blog post. Not all criticism is bad, but the fact a toxic person perceives it to be, shows they are part of the on-going problem both outside and online. These people contribute nothing, and they won't ever change. Like a withering plant, let those people be, and Mother Nature will regenerate something better.

I'm Kris and this has been Food For The Saints.

SOURCES:

1. Mayo Clinic: Narcissistic Personality Disorder

2. The Indie Spiritualist: "Do Narcissists Have Health Issues: Understanding the Hidden Risks and Impact on Well-Being" by Nina Redford (2025)

Kris Caballero

Founder of KCU Network and KCU Plus, Kris has been writing since he started blogging in late 2005. Officially back to doing computer programming, Kris enjoys reading books on Mathematics, Quantum Computing, Philosophy, plus playing old video/MS-DOS games, digital video archiving, listening to sports, public radio and classical music.

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