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On Fake People
"On fake people?" Why would I write about such thing? For starters, or if you're new to this section of our website, I've been born and raised in Los Angeles all my life. I'm sure that, alone, says enough.
To start things off, I believe there's a song titled "Parallel" by Bad Religion. The song talks about how our societal structure of living has been injected in such way where we never interject another person's path, yet wanting the good for ourselves and only ourselves without thinking nor agreeing to neutralize the aid and opportunity for everyone else. It reminds me of people who preach how much they want and demand equality, but condemn others who have differing thoughts and opinions than they do. I'm no expert on Sociology, but wanting equality and discriminating against others because their philosophy is different from yours IS NOT equality. Nevertheless, while I agree as to why our lives are "parallel," the reality is we don't always get along with people we think we may mesh with. To coincide with my study in physics, atoms gravitate towards some but not all, and certainly not others. With that in mind, I'd say the same about fake people.
Why are fake people a problem?
I'm not sure why it took me years to find out about this, but it's simple: They aren't genuine. We all grew up with the notion that "honesty is the best policy," yet fake people feel that putting on a face gives them some kind of leverage above everyone else. The sad truth is that this leverage often gets them ahead of the game, as opposed to someone who's real and honest. This is something a lot of hiring managers ought to realize when interviewing new candidates, especially choosing someone who's "nicer" compared to someone who's more qualified. Also, another problem is the authenticity of the communication when interacting with fake people. You're not always going to get a straight answer, and will be "word played" in order for the fake person to get as much information as they can get for their own benefit, or worse, to use what they've learned about the person and use it against them. This dishonest practice from the fake person often causes disruptions—drama and confusion—among social circles and the workplace, and when this friction has been exposed and caused, that fake person denies any allegations thereof, which includes playing the victim card. Whether they cause drama or not, the fake person is after what they want for themselves without expressing any empathy for others.
What makes someone fake?
I'm confident in saying that being fake is derived from insecurity. Even at my current age, those who are near my age or older than I am, still express some bitter insecurities in some form or other. In this case, the fake person stays away from being in touch with their real selves for fear of being laughed at, judged or criticized. Reality check: Everyone gets judged in some way or other, even from our own families and friends. Not all criticism is bad, and some remarks can be interpreted in how you want it to be. For example, if you're walking down the street and someone walks by, looks at you and says you're fat, how will you react? Some will tell that stranger to "shut up;" Others might shrug it off and admit that they do need to lose some weight (a "reminder," in a way); Then, another batch of people wouldn't even say anything, and would just keep walking. It's all in how you interpret it, and it can be a good or bad thing. Same goes with the fake person: Whatever is being said about them, they often react negatively, feeling that their well-being is at risk and they may not fool others in such way they wish to do, in such way where they wouldn't have to face their own reality. When it comes to personal relationships, the fake person can cause a huge problem not sticking with what they say or acting upon what they promise. If you're in a relationship with someone who's allegedly fake, how problematic would it be knowing that what they say, do or promise will never come through one day? How will you react if those who knew that fake person told you that they weren't genuine since the first time you met? Once again, the fake person wants things for their own benefit at their discretion without resorting to others. They never develop meaningful relationships/friendships with others, and often just take advantage of the situations they encounter.
I personally know someone like this, and had the unfortunate opportunity to work with one back in 2017. What bothered me the most about this fake person I worked with was how her feelings didn't follow what she would utter the next day. She does this to get someone, like me, to confess about something she probably wouldn't want to know about, yet feels the need to know anyway (that included my personal life). Me, personally, I respect and don't often need to know someone's personal life because it provides no benefit to me, other than knowing their "deep dark secret(s)." I've heard it all before, so I let the person be themselves and live without the pressure of them knowing with what I hope to do with the [personal] information they exchanged/shared with me. To top it all off, the next day, after sharing all that she asked for, she never spoke to me ever again and still ignores me today (so much for saying how much we're "close friends"). I knew the game she was playing, and wasn't surprised she got tired of playing it knowing that she couldn't manipulate or control me. What did she expect? Did she think I was that dumb? I feel bad for future hiring managers who are thinking of considering her, including people who will cross paths with her in some form or other. The dishonest nature of people like this are why we remain "parallel" with each other: Nobody wants to be honest anymore, not even to themselves. Why expect others to be honest with everyone and with you, when you can't even be honest with yourself? Fake people are a prime example of those who truly dislike themselves.
What does the future hold for fake people?
"Fake-ism" is the act of expressing a dishonest persona in such way that only benefits themselves for their own gain, avoiding any empathy for others nor developing any meaningful connection, taking their own identity for granted. I can't find any sort of way on how long the fake person is able to hold on and show off this persona, but in the end, people will realize it anyway. The damage they've inflicted, the drama they have caused and all the "deep dark secrets" they've extracted with their clever word play will come crashing down, along all the people they got in contact with will turn against them. Worse, and since things spread quickly online, their "innocence" won't be enough to attract any sympathy from those who want to welcome them with open arms. There isn't much left for these people, and the only option is to accept their own reality and be honest with their situation(s); They've got a long way to go, and it won't come easy for them. You can't fool the laws of Nature, and even if you can/could, are you ready for the price you have to pay for such damage done? There's a reason humans can't fight off lava flow or tornadoes; You just have to avoid it. Oh, "avoid it?" Yeah, sounds like the technique the fake person does to avoid confrontation due to their dishonest personalities, right?
In order to have any kind of future whatsoever, the fake person needs to come to terms with themselves. This world is bad as it is, and there are times when we have to live with the imperfections that come along, including the ones we experience in our own lives. Not everything will go our way, and we can't always get what we want, but we can still find our own peace.
The problem is because of this simple advice, there still will be a full fledge of people being fake. Why is that? These people hate to tell others about their current situation, let alone fear about being mocked for who they are and what they like. As someone who lives and grew up in Los Angeles, I've heard all the "hoopla" that associate with various people, and it's a shame that they are like this. It's like people need to put on a face to earn a special kind of respect, attract a special kind of attention and use that as a stepping stone to seek a better life. Being fake is nothing to be proud of, as it's the practice of lying to yourself and to others while clinging onto false hope—being the person they wish they could be, and expecting others to accept it. Fake people bring no positive change nor contribute to the betterment of others and to our society. Ever wonder why the things celebrities, politicians and various public figures, given all that they do, make you think if it's genuine or not? I'm not saying we should assume that someone talking to us is lying, but from our natural observation, we ought to be able to know whether the message or action being shown/presented to us is genuine. There's nothing wrong with thinking before believing; As a matter of fact, I encourage everyone to adopt that kind of thinking: Think before you believe.
If you, or anyone you know, is being fake, you may as well pack your stuff and start concentrating on your life goals, even if it means being alone. Ask yourselves: What are you looking to get and learn from these kinds of people? Here's something to think about: Who you are is influenced by the people you're surrounded with. With that said, if you're surrounded by people who are "debbie downers" or people who sit around and complain too much, you may just adopt that very behavior. Going by that notion, if you're interacting with someone who's fake and dishonest, you'll be acting the same way. If ever you want to make the most out of your life, the best way is to focus on your life goals and avoid people like these. You'll never realize how short life is, until something bad happens (though it happens to all of us, it occurs to some more than others, depending on the decisions you've made up to this day).
My advice is to know your own worth, admire who you are and what you're all about. Fake people can never be in touch with themselves, and often avoid any confrontation when misunderstandings arise. Take it as a wake-up call—it's wrong to be someone you're not, and will never carry you far. Why not be your own person? There are many personalities as there are faces: Some are genuine and unique, and some aren't worth a second look. Some problems aren't worth dealing with either, and is best to be left alone. It is the case that certain people learn their lessons the hard way, and when the time comes, again, they've got a long way to go. Feel sorry for them? After all the damage they've inflicted, it's tough feeling any sympathy for them. If they're known for being fake, how will we know that their apologies are real? Reality isn't kind, and fake people can't be open to change and growth unless they undergo some kind of suffering. And if that sounds like an unfair deal, then perhaps living this human life wasn't meant for people like them. Not being able to learn from our suffering means grounds for a life lived short. It's your choice.
This is Kris speaking for Food For The Saints.